Does Anal Sex Hurt? Top 9 Tips for First-Time Anal Sex

Fifty years ago, you wouldn’t have been able to discuss anal sex.

Not today. Anal sex isn’t inappropriate anymore. People are freely talking about anal sex everywhere. They discuss it in bars, concerts, college dorms, etc.

Anal is super sweet. It gives you a unique sexual experience you wouldn’t get from vaginal sex. I’ve been having anal sex for many years.

In this article, I want to share with you all you need to know about anal sex.

Does anal sex hurt? Is it nicer than vaginal sex? And how do you have anal sex for the first time?

I answered these questions and a lot more in this article.

After reading this article, you’ll be well prepared and comfortable the first time you try anal sex. And you’ll like it too.

Lots of couples are having anal sex, and they love it. A study by Pornhub Insights from 2009 to 2015 found that search volume for anal sex rose by 120% in the United States. The rest of the world is still catching up with a 78% increase.

growth in anal searches

People are having anal sex regularly more than ever. Millennial couples are trying anal sex more than the older generation. A study of 3,000 sexually active millennials found that 35% of women and 15% of men are engaging in anal sex.

Whether you’re straight, bisexual or gay, you can try anal sex. Anal sex is happening. It’s happening everywhere. You wouldn’t want to miss it after the first time.

Start with an anal dildo

An anal dildo is highly recommended for anyone who wants to try anal sex. Starting with an anal dildo is more comfortable and less risky.

Keep in mind that I’m referring to an “anal dildo” here. Not just any type dildo out there. Some dildos aren’t good for the anus. Anal dildos are friendly to the anus. They are made of materials that won’t hurt your anus. That’s why I recommend them.

anal dildo

There’s another reason why I recommend anal dildos: They allow you to experience anal sex alone. They help you learn about anal sex. You’ll know how it feels like. You’ll know whether it’s something you want to try with your partner or not.

Other types of anal sex toys are also available in the market. These toys have different shapes. You can choose the shape you like and try inserting it into your anus at home.

If you secretly want to try anal sex, this is the best way to go.

I’m a big fan of anal dildos. That might be because I’ve bought and used a lot of dildos over the past years and I like them.

Choose what’s right for you. You may want to start with other anal sex toys. Buy one and try it alone.

Use an anal lubricant

Lots of lube is needed for anal sex. The anus doesn’t produce fluids as the vagina does. Engaging in anal sex without lube will give you serious bruises and cuts. I’ve never had anal sex without lube.

Lube is essential if you want to enjoy anal sex. Before you put any sex toy into your anus, you need to apply lots of lube.

Some lubricants are made for the anus. I call them anal lubricants. They last longer. It’s easy to wash them off after sex. And they don’t pose any health risk to the anus.

anal lubricant

I’ve reviewed some of the best anal lubricants on this blog. You can check my reviews to buy the right anal lube.

The right lubricant makes your anus wet. The dildo or penis would be able to slide in without bruising your skin. The right lube will make you happy. You won’t feel any pain during and after sex.

There are two kinds of lubricants in the market today:

Silicone and water-based lubes.

Water-based lubricants dry out fast. Silicone-based lubricants don’t.

Three drops of a silicone-based lubricant could last for 40 minutes. I buy anal lubes that are made of silicone.

When you buy a water-based lubricant, you’ll need to reapply it every 5 minutes because the lube would be dried, and penetration may start to become painful.

So, don’t just buy any anal lube. Buy an anal lube that’s made with silicone.

Start small and slow

When trying anal sex for the first time, it’s crucial that you go slow. Don’t force the toy inside of you. After you’ve applied lots of lube, the anus should be slippery. That doesn’t mean that you should force the toy inside.

If you’re doing this with your partner, ask him to take things slow.

Going slowly will ensure that the experience is smooth, and you don’t feel any pain later. Beginners tend to treat anal sex like vaginal sex. It’s not. And even if you’re going to get used to it, you shouldn’t try too fast the first time.

Imagine a girl having vaginal sex for the first time. It’s advisable that her partner takes things slow in the beginning. The same thing applies to anal sex.

Put a tiny part of the toy into the anus. Penetrate the anus with that small part. Then increase it when you’ve become comfortable with that part. I could start with an inch. Then as I get used to that, then I could increase it to two inches. You continue to increase till it feels good for you.

Try it with your partner

Above, I recommended that it’s best you begin with an anal dildo. After you’ve gotten comfortable using a dildo to penetrate your anus, it’s time to move to the real experience with your partner.

Try it with your partner

By now, you know how much of his penis you can take, and how fast you can take it. Make sure you communicate these things to your partner in the beginning.

Your partner should understand that it’s important you feel comfortable and relaxed. Your partner should listen to you and do what you want.

If your partner is trying anal sex for the first time, he may do things the wrong way. He should listen to you.

Communication is vital. Anal sex becomes difficult if he doesn’t listen and wants to do things his way. And if that’s the case, it’s best you don’t do it.

Anal sex can be great for both partners only if they communicate with each other. Both partners should understand each other. They should be on the same page.

Make sure you use lots of lube. Lubrication is essential when it comes to anal sex. You must use enough lube.

The lube should be made for anal sex. Any lube wouldn’t work. You don’t want to have to reapply every minute. That’s why you need to get anal lube.

Anal sex is just another version of sex. Both partners should be open to it before engaging in anal sex.

Be fully ready before trying it. If you want it, try it. If you don’t want it, don’t try it.

I’ve tried anal sex many times, and I can tell you that the experience is cool. It’s a sweet version of sex. It makes you moan. Anal sex can bring you both closer than ever before.

Engage in foreplay

Like vaginal sex, foreplay is the key to great anal sex.

Bad foreplay can ruin the experience and make you not want to try anal sex again. Good foreplay makes the experience special for both of you. And you’ll both look forward to doing it again.

Engage in foreplay

Your partner shouldn’t go straight to your anus. You should both build up some sexual tension before going there. You should both feel connected to each other emotionally and physically. That’s what makes great anal sex experience great!

Foreplay gets you in the mood. It makes you want every inch of your partner’s penis before he goes inside your anus. Foreplay also makes you feel amazing sensations in your body when he’s inside.

Create the perfect environment for great foreplay. Turn the lights down. Light some candles that produce cool smells. And play slow and sensual music.

After doing all these things, ask your partner to touch the sensitive parts of your body. Your nipples and clitoris are nice zones for foreplay.

He should move his hands to every part of your body. His hands should be all over your feet, lower back, neck – everywhere.

Foreplay can start from anywhere if both of you have agreed to have anal sex. He could send a naughty text while still at work. You could send him some nice sex positions to fill his imagination on his way home.

These things make you have amazing anal sex. If both of you are trying for the first time, you need to make it special before the time comes.

Does anal sex hurt when you both engage in lots of foreplay and use lubrication? No! It feels special.

First-time anal sex needs a little bit of more foreplay than normally required when you want to engage in vaginal sex.

Use a condom

Anal sex is a great option for couples who are using birth control.

Use a condom

However, the chance of contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) is very high. It’s very easy to contract a deadly virus like HIV/AIDs through anal sex than any other form of sex. The risk is three times higher for anal sex than vaginal intercourse.

Not just HIV. You are also at risk of contracting other STIs. Anal sex is a risky act. Make sure you do it with a partner who isn’t HIV-positive by asking him to test. It’s also important that you test for other infections.

If you’re unsure about your partner’s status, it’s best he uses a condom to protect yourself (or both of you) from transmitting sexually transmitted infections to each other.

Many women wrongly believe that they can’t get infected through anal sex. Because you can’t get pregnant through anal sex doesn’t mean you can’t get STIs like HIV, gonorrhea, genital warts, genital herpes, and chlamydia.

Protect yourself by getting a condom in case your partner doesn’t. Most anal lubricants are compatible with latex condoms.

Relax your body and mind

You can’t have great anal sex with your partner if your mind and body aren’t relaxed.

If your mind is constantly wandering the first time you have anal sex, you won’t be able to experience the real fun that comes with the act. When your mind wanders, your body becomes disconnected from sex. You won’t be feeling those nice sensations.

Relax your body and mind

You could become frustrated and disappointed that you had anal sex.

Make your body and mind are well relaxed. If they aren’t relaxed, it simply means that you’re not ready to have anal sex with your partner. Forcing yourself to have sex when you aren’t relaxed will only lead to pain.

The best way to reconnect your body with sex is by focusing on your breathing. Be conscious of the breaths you take in and out. When you do this, you slowly reconnect your body and bring it back to what’s happening at the moment.

Tell your partner about it when you feel your mind is wandering. Your partner could help you get your mind back where it should be, which is sex. Your partner could also start talking to you and maybe do more foreplay with you.

You need to stop thinking about groceries to buy, bosses to please, appointments to set, and laundry to fold if you want to have an exciting anal sex experience you want to remember for a long time.

Some women think that distracting themselves will help them feel less pain and be able to have anal sex. It often doesn’t work that way. In fact, it hurts more at the end of the act.

You can avoid that by making sure your body and mind are well relaxed before trying anal sex for the first time.

Don’t think too much about it

If you’ve decided to try anal sex, avoid thinking too much about it. This is very important. When you think too much about it, you’re likely to change your mind. That could affect your relationship with your partner.

Make sure you want to do it. When you’re sure you want to do it, that’s when you should tell your partner about it.

Also, it’s important that you don’t think too much about it after you’ve had anal sex with your partner. It helps your relationship.

Thinking too much about it after the experience could make you regret agreeing to anal sex.

Anal sex is cool. I’ve been having anal sex for years.

I understand if the first few days after the first time is a little bit tough. Just like everything, you’ll get used to it with time. And anal sex isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s exciting and interesting. It gives your body sensations you won’t get from vaginal sex.

I like anal sex a lot, and I recommend it to couples who want to try it.


First-time anal sex doesn’t hurt when you do the right things. In this article, I’ve revealed to you everything you need to know to get it right the first time.

Here’s the recap:

  • Start playing with yourself using an anal dildo
  • Use lots of anal lube
  • Start small and slow
  • Don’t be afraid to try it with your partner
  • Engage in foreplay before anal sex
  • Use a latex condom to keep yourself safe
  • Relax your body and mind
  • Don’t think too much about it before and after the experience

When you do all these things, you’ll never regret having anal sex. You’ll want to have more of the experience with your partner.

I highly recommend you buy a good anal dildo (or anal sex toy) and anal lube. I’ve reviewed great anal dildos and anal lube on this site. Make sure you check them out.

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